


IMP

by Valter



Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-11
Updated: 2010-10-11
Packaged: 2017-10-12 14:50:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/125998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valter/pseuds/Valter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another day in the hapless life of the Incipisphere's lowliest underling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	IMP

I am Shale Imp number 462, and I have died a total of thirty-six times.

Life at the bottom of the totem pole isn't so bad, really. Nobody expects anything of me, after all, so when I do get something done everybody gets all pleasantly surprised. Then I can usually get away with taking the rest of the day off.

...Looks like I won't be getting any time off this time around, though. Here he comes, with all those smashy hammers of his. Oh well, maybe with this umbrella I pilfered I'll be able to land a hit or tw-

[i]No dice.[/i]

...

I am Shale Imp number 462, and I have died thirty-seven times.

Getting plucked from the formless void of unbeing is a bit of a strange experience. Just a small popping sound and there you are, with a new body and a vague memory of your last death.

I could do better, if I wanted to. Gather favor with my Denizen and come back as an Ogre or Lich. Never been much of an overachiever, though. I'll be an imp 'till the day I die. Well, probably even a bit longer than tha-

[i]Oof! I didn't even see him that time![/i]

...

I am Shale Imp number 462, and that was my thirty-eighth death.

Ah! Sometimes dying has its benefits. I've been all over the Land of Wind and Shade by now. Spawn in a new place every single time, and I've gotten some great views. Like this one. I think I can see the Heir's house from here!

Spawning on a mountaintop means more wind, though. Brrrrr! Sometimes I envy the imps at the Land of Heat and Clockwork. They get to relax a bit more on their sauna world. At least the sun's always blocked off here. I wouldn't be able to stand having that in my eyes all the time.

...No sun, perhaps, but there's the Son, here to hammer me into another life. Sometimes I wish I could hide and wait for him to pass, and then jump out and hit him while he's surprised. I'm just not made for it, though. This stupid oil gets on everything I touch! There's no way he'd fail to notice the mess I leave behind me. Guess I should just accept the inevitable.

...

Oh? Looks like he got caught up in a conversation with one of his accomplices. Now would be the perfect time for a counterattack! Shale Imp number 359 and I, we've been palling around for ages, we've got just the thing in mind for the kid.

It's a two-imp maneuver. I start out by sneaking right up behind the Heir, and I get down on my hands and knees. Then 359 rushes out as fast as he can, and- Yes! The Heir stumbles right over me and sprawls out all over the ground. I suppose I could try hitting him now, but I can't stop laughing. I never thought I'd pull that off!

...Wow, he looks really angry. I should probably stop goofing off and get out of he-

[i]Whoops! Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.[/i]

...

I am Shale Imp number 462, and I am thirty-nine times dead.

 

TT: ...John?  
EB: sorry, i'm back.  
TT: What happened?  
EB: oh, nothing important.  
EB: just some dumb imps.


End file.
